the gas is filling the room and i dont want it to stop the pilot went out days ago and i cant seem to find a light im just trying to sort through the past and for now, its jut not quite working out im just trying to forgive myself for mistakes and what ifs and what nows but the house isnt burning up just yet so for now if i could just clear my head in the morning i could wake to forget where the night will just lead me again the windows are not sealed so tight and i cant hold my hands steady enough asphixiation feels just right when you can't find your way to the door but im still trying, gasping for breath so i havent given up just yet the balance between gas and oxygen isn't quite right for the reaction to begin so the house isn't burning up just yet...